Let me start this off by saying that I am not exactly a dog person. I like dogs okay, but I have never been one of those people that just has to have them in their lives. Until…Roxy. She came into our lives 9 years ago. Mike and I went to the breeder’s house to pick her out together. Mike picked the most timid dog out of all of them. She was very shy and hid from us. I was on bedrest with my second pregnancy (Calli), so I had lots of time at home with her to help train her. Rylee was only 1 1/2 years old, and her and Roxy hit it off right away. When Calli came along, Roxy was so very protective and gentle with her. We could lay Calli down anywhere and Roxy would lay right next to her and keep an eye on her.
Then Zander came along, and she was equally good with him. We used to refer to Zander as our “dog whisperer” as he has a special heart for dogs. He would constantly love on her, and was always trying to get her to sleep with him. However, there was a special place in Roxy’s heart….and it was for Mike. I would always joke that Roxy was his girlfriend. Seriously, when they say..man’s best friend..it was these two. She loved him like no other, and the same for him.
There were also the days when she was trouble of course! Like any puppy she loved to chew, and sometimes she would get out the front door and run for miles! Or the time she ate our pet tortoise!
She loved our camping trips and if we asked her if she wanted to go for a walk, she would go wait by the front door. I can’t even explain all the ways that this was the smartest dog! I would always warn our guests that if you pet her once, she will never leave you alone! She was a big teddy bear, and would try to sit in our laps if we let her. She also believed that the kid’s Grandma Piper was her grandma as well, trying to sit in her lap and vie for her attention over the kids having her attention.
We watched her grow older and become less active, but she was always so loving. The last couple months she seemed to age even more, and then a couple weeks ago a golf ball sized tumor appeared on her back. It rapidly grew over the size of my hand and she became more lethargic. The last few days she wouldn’t eat and wouldn’t come up the stairs. We knew. On Sunday, March 18th, we had the kids spend some time with her and say their goodbyes before we went to the vet. It was the hardest thing that they have ever been through. It was hard for all of us, and even more painful watching your kids hurt.
We took her in and she was basically full of massive tumors, and most likely had internal bleeding. She was probably in pain, and would probably only have lasted a couple days longer at the most. Mike and I saw the x-ray and watched the ultrasound…and we cried. Our biggest fear was coming true. Our 2nd baby was dying inside. We told the kids and said our goodbyes again. Our kids chose to be there as she passed. It was so fast and so very peaceful.
Then we came home… and the pain just returns. She isn’t at the door to greet us anymore. There is an empty dog bed. There is the empty space where she used to sleep every single night and day. The morning routines are all wrong. She wasn’t there greeting Mike early in the morning while he gets ready for work, bugging him to pet her while he puts on his shoes. I woke up and the first thing I did was look to her spot, like I have done so many times…and emptiness. Just like that painful spot in my chest..emptiness. There is an unsettling quiet in the house without her movement. There is the doggy door that is now shut. Her toys that I pass by and just break into tears.
My kids are all handling this in different ways. It has been extremely rough on Rylee. It’s what they’ve known all their young lives, and now it’s gone. I am very thankful that it was a dog and not a person in their lives for their first experience of death.
Time heals… I know this is true…but for now there is just an emptiness and hurt.
She truly won me over…am I a dog lover now?…..no, I think, just a lover of Roxy.
Rest in peace girl. Love you.
Roxy and Rylee…the early days.
Calli’s protector….
Always ready to play….
Zander’s buddy……
The sweetest eyes that I will forever miss….
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